


Mr. Potty Mouth

by SailorHeichou



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Humor, Gratuitous swearing cuz its levi, Grumpy Levi, M/M, One Shot, Snarky Levi, Tumblr Prompt, cutie pie eren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 21:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5886307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorHeichou/pseuds/SailorHeichou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off this prompt I saw on tumblr and really liked:<br/><q>person A who sits in the back of every staff meeting and makes snarky comments under their breath about everyone the whole time and person B who arrived late and sat next to them and can barely hold in their laughter.</q></p>
            </blockquote>





	Mr. Potty Mouth

**Author's Note:**

> The title is dumb. Idk.

Eren was late. 

He was so going to get chewed out again, but it wasn't like it was his fault. His car had decided to die out on him in the middle of traffic and he had to get out and push it off to the side with the help of some road workers nearby who felt bad for him. Then he had to call a tow truck and wait twenty minutes until they finally came and got his car, and finally, he had to call Mikasa to ask if she could come pick him up and give him a lift to work. 

Honestly, he probably could have just called in and said he'd be in around noon, but then again, Eren was never one for thinking straight during stressful situations. He hadn't thought about calling into work until he was already standing in front of the building downtown. He was sure he probably looked a right mess, with his hair all wind-blown, his formerly wrinkle free button up shirt was now a bit rumbled and his tie was loosened. He was sure he probably smelled like sweat and maybe just a hint of motor oil, but he couldn't be bothered to worry about that. He just needed to get into the office before Levi handed him his ass on a silver platter. 

Eren had power walked into the building, decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator because, really? He didn't think he had the patience to stand and wait for it to be called down to the first floor. Besides, his office was only on the fourth floor and the building itself wasn't exactly the biggest in the downtown area. It was actually one of the smaller buildings, but not any less intimidating, with it's sleek glass window panes covering every inch of the face of the building.

He'd greeted his co-workers Sasha and Connie who were looking a bit nervous for some reason. They'd both quickly noticed Eren's presence, since the rest of the fourth floor was near empty. Sharing a look of questioning confusion with them, Sasha hurried up to him and touched him lightly on the elbow. 

"There was a staff meeting that was suddenly called by Mr. Dok. He called everyone into the conference room on the fifth floor about fifteen minutes ago." Her voice was lowered into a harsh whisper, which Eren thought pointless since the office was empty and there was no one but the three of them. "Where have you been?! Levi is going to kill you!" 

"Don't you think I already know that!?" Eren hissed back, eyes wide and frantic. "My car broke down on my way here and I had to go through all this shit. Mikasa had to leave her job to come pick me up and bring me here." 

"Dude," Connie snorted. "Why didn't you just call and let Krista know that you were going to be late? It would have saved you some trouble." 

"Shut up, I'm an idiot." Eren grumbled, running a hand through his slightly damp hair. "Anyway, why are you two here? Shouldn't you be attending the staff meeting too?" 

"Nah," Connie shrugged. "Dok asked up to stay down here and answer phones. It's supposed to be Krista's job to do this but apparently she's needed to take notes for this meeting. Nile can be such an asshole." 

"Don't let him hear you say that," Sasha warned, her large brown eyes shifting from side to side nervously. 

"He's on the next floor above us. What? Can he hear us through the floors?" 

"You never know!" 

Rolling his eyes, Eren moved toward his cubicle in the bull pin and set his things down. Powering up his desktop, he took a moment to just catch his breath and cool down because he felt like he's been running around ever since he left home this morning. After two or three minutes of cooling down, Eren felt less sweaty and hot and decided to make a quick trip to the men's room. He needed to freshen up just a little bit. 

"Hey, I'm gonna go wash up and change into my extra shirt. Do you think I should go to the staff meeting?" 

"It's kinda pointless to go in late, don't you think?" Connie asked indifferently. He seemed much more preoccupied with watching the screensaver on his own desktop as it changed colors.

"But going in late is better than not going at all! Levi already looked royally pissed about him being late this morning. He'll probably fire Eren if he skips the meeting too." 

"Is the meeting that important?" Eren asked, feeling a little worried now. 

"Dunno. Smith was going on about some new software the office will be using, but that's as much as I know. Sorry, dude." 

"Damn, that sounds kinda important." 

Eren gnawed on his bottom lip for a moment or two as he debated with himself on what to do. It would be so awkward if he just decided to walk into a meeting that had already been well on it's way by now, and what would his excuse be? Well, he didn't really need to lie or think up a fake excuse, he had a perfectly legit one but he still found himself floundering for alternatives just in case. 

Shrugging, Eren decided. "Whatever, I'll just go to the meeting. I'd rather show up to it late than have Levi come back from it whenever and see me here doing nothing." 

Having resolved with himself, Eren slipped into the men's room and freshened up, changing into a baby blue button up he kept at work just in case. His deep teal tie luckily went perfectly with the new shirt and he was glad Mikasa had talked him into buying it. She was right, it really did make his eyes pop more. Since his hair was already damp with sweat, Eren decided to wet his hands with a little water and he ran both of his hands through his short chestnut hair, pushing his messy bangs back and out of his face. Yeah, it wasn't the best product to use for slicking back hair but it was only temporary. With his hair now out of his face and his new not-sweat-damp-shirt on his back, Eren washed his hands one last time and left the men's room. 

Sasha whistled at him as he passed by her desk, which was situated closer to the elevators. He smirked and winked at her as he passed by and Connie laughed when Eren made a pistol gesture with his hands and pretended to shoot them both with invisible bullets. As he got onto the elevator and the doors began to close, he heard a unison of 'Good Luck!' and he couldn't help but grin.

\- -

Walking into the conference room had been just as painfully awkward as Eren had feared, if not worse. The entire room had fallen silent when he'd opened the door to enter and every eye in the room was on him. He ducked his head and avoided eye contact, especially with Nile Dok who he could practically feel was staring daggers into him as he walked into the room.

Eren searched for an open seat at the conference table, but didn't find a single empty chair. Groaning internally, Eren relented to having to sit in the back of the room and he swiftly claimed the first open chair he saw. Once seated, everyone's attention returned to the front of the conference room where Nile Dok was still droning on about something Eren couldn't probably care any less about. He was already regretting coming to this meeting. It's not like his presence would have made any real difference. He just didn't want to be chewed out by Levi later. 

"You're late, Jaeger." A familiar low voice like dark silk filled his eardrums and made Eren swallow thickly. 

Turning to his right slowly, Eren belatedly noticed that he had taken a seat next to his incredibly surly-- albeit, incredibly hot-- Boss, Levi Ackerman. Yes, the man was short and irritated most times, but that didn't make him any less attractive. Eren couldn't really help it; he had a weakness for pale skin, dark hair, gorgeous eyes and muscles. _So_ many muscles. Even from underneath the fabric of the crisp black button up Levi was wearing, Eren could see the way every muscle in his forearm and bicep flexed and moved every time Levi did something. It didn't help that he currently had his arms crossed tightly over his firm chest and Eren subconsciously licked his lips when his eyes traced the thickness of those built forearms. 

"Hey, pay attention, dipshit." Levi growled under his breath, and Eren would swear to evey god he didn't believe in that hearing Levi growl at him send a pleasant shiver down his spine and made his knees weak. 

Feeling his cheeks heat furiously, Eren forced his attention back on Nile Dok, with no small amount of effort. In comparison to staring at the greek god that was his Boss Levi, Nile Dok wasn't anything great to look at, at least not in Eren's eyes. He was tall, a little too lanky, his hair always looked greasy and disgusting and his eyes were small and beady. Not to mention, the weird facial hair he sported. It was like he couldn't decide if he wanted to grow a full beard or not so he just kind of... left it like that. It was a constant gag around the office. 

"So, as you can see, we'll be switching to the new software starting next Monday. I suggest getting yourself familiar with it as soon as possible." Nile said, doing a once over at all the faces in the room and stopping when he spotted Eren. His dark eyes narrowed on him and he frowned a bit. If Eren could, he would have happily flipped Nile off, but well, he quite liked his job and it paid his bills and kept him fed. 

"Keep it moving, old timer. Some of us have actual work to do, unlike your greasy self who just sits on his ass all day and barks out orders." Levi grumbled quietly, although not quietly enough. 

Before he realized it, Eren heard himself snort, catching the attention of his best friend Armin who shot him a confused look when he glanced back to see his best friend struggling to fight back a smile and his boss sitting next to him, looking just as indifferent as ever. 

"Nile's not really that old, is he?" Eren found himself asking just as quietly. Why he'd decided to initiate a conversation with Levi Ackerman of all people, he'd probably never know. Levi wasn't exactly a conversationalist, as he'd said so himself several times whenever anyone tried to stop him at the water cooler to chat. 

To his surprise, Levi gave him an answer. "He's ancient. When he farts, dust comes out." 

This time, Eren caught himself in time before he could allow a laugh to bubble in his chest, but it didn't stop him from letting out a small snort of air from his nose as he bit his bottom lip to stifle that laugh. 

"Before we conclude this meeting, I'd like to remind everyone about something very important so please spare a minute or two before leaving." Erwin Smith stood up and spoke next, an easy smile on his handsome face. 

"What? That you and Armin are fucking? We know." Levi mumbled, and this time Eren didn't laugh but simply smirked as he nudged Levi in the arm with his elbow. A bold move that he probably would have never tried to attempt if it were any other time or situation, but Levi seemed to be in good spirits for some reason. "What?" He grunted back at him. "It's fucking true. You should know, Arlert is your best friend." Levi smirked back at him and Eren felt his dick twitch in his pants. 

"Yeah, but we never talk about it." 

"Be honest," Levi snorted a quiet laugh himself this time. "It's because you're a little grossed out imagining Eyebrows and your cute little twink of a friend getting it on, right?" 

Eren choked on his spit a little bit but he managed to only get away with a small coughing fit and only a couple of odd glances here or there. Well, the odd looks came from Ymir and Jean, the two biggest assholes in his office, but Krista gave him more of a concerned look rather than a strange one. 

"Admit it, Eren. It's okay." Levi practically purred next to his ear. Wow, Eren hadn't even noticed when his boss had leaned in to get closer to him. "It creeps you out to imagine Erwin and Armin doing it." 

"S-Stop making it sound like I think about it all the time." He stuttered, despite doing his best to keep his cool. It was hard to do when your stupidly attractive boss is invading your personal space and purring things about fucking in your ear. Was it sexual harassment if Eren liked it? 

Levi leaned back and out of Eren's personal space, and the brunet felt like he could breath a little. His dick was probably half-hard and he'd have to deal with that a little later, but for now, he was just glad they were still sitting. 

"Then don't make it sound like you do, idiot. I'm only fucking with you." 

Eren pouted at his boss who let out a quiet chuckle at the expression. This was all so weird and yet Eren was loving every second of it. Levi was never usually this casual, or good-humored. He was normally so no-nonsense and kept everyone he worked with at a distance. His conversations with people, if you could even call them that, were always very curt and to the point. Levi openly claimed to hating people in general, therefore, discouraging anyone from trying to be friendly with their boss. Clearly, today must be the end of the world if Levi Ackerman was joking around and being friendly with one of his subordinates. Eren had long since tuned Erwin out.

"So," Levi drawled, leaning in a little and invading Eren's little bubble of personal space once more. "I'm curious now. What do you fantasize about if not your best friend and his boss getting it on?" 

Just then, Hanji Zoe had popped up from her seat near the head of the conference table and she loudly dismissed the room. 

"Alright! That about covers everything! You're all free to go back to your cubicles!" 

Everyone got up from their seats and started filing out of the conference room, but Eren stayed rooted to his seat, where he knew that no doubt he was probably blushing like mad. Levi had stood up and started for the doors, but before he even got four steps away from his former seat next to Eren, he turned back and appraised him for a long moment. 

"Jaeger, my office, five minutes. Don't be late."

Eren swallowed, but only nodded because he didn't trust his own voice to come out normal at this point. 

"Oh, and Eren," Levi smirked. "You should wear your hair like that from now on. Really shows off your eyes." 

That was it-- Eren was absolutely sure that he had probably died and gone to heaven because no way was any of that real. Levi Ackerman was _flirting_ with him!! 

Just as Levi exited the room, Armin popped back into the room and gave Eren a worried look, seeing as he was still sitting in his seat but the room had long been empty. 

"Eren," he called, voice laced with concern. "Are you alright? Come on, it's almost our lunch break." 

Collecting himself, Eren forced himself from his seat and he approached Armin with a particular exhausted look. 

"Armin, pinch me." 

"What? Why?" 

"Because I think I just flirted with my boss the entire last half of that meeting." 

At this new information, Eren was a little irritated to note that Armin didn't look nearly as surprised as he should have at hearing about this. In fact, Eren would even say the blond looked a little smug. 

"Well, it's about time." Armin chuckled. "You've only been pining after Levi since you first started working here three years ago, and Levi's always staring at you and asking about you whenever you're not in the office."

"Wha-"

"Honestly, Eren. We all knew it was going to happen eventually. Everyone in the office owes me money." 

"You all had a betting pool on this!?" 

"Well, yeah." Armin said, turning to leave the room. Eren stumbled after him, still spluttering from the news. "Now, quit being a dumbass and go ask that short, grumpy hunk out already! I promise I'll treat you to something tasty after I collect all my winning." 

Grinning, Eren took off into a jog down the hall toward the elevators.

"You got it!"

**Author's Note:**

> I know I'm supposed to be focusing on the Fem!Ereri fic. Trust me, I'm still planning on updating that soon.   
> I just had to get this one out of my system first. 
> 
> This was just a quick little thing I felt like doing since I haven't done any prompts for Ereri, or any of my other ships for that matter. Don't ask me about where they work or what they do. 
> 
> Levi's style of flirting is so dumb and weird. I love it.


End file.
